At some point, we all wonder if there’s a recipe for life. If there’s a well calculated formula incorporating variable ratios of happiness, melancholy, delightful surprises and misery, that without fail always amount to a life well lived. A foolproof equation that conspicuously results in well-aged humans full of patience and understanding of the world.
Some would say that the early twenties are the period of exploration. The period of groundbreaking decision making which lays the foundation and framing for the person yet to be. Years of turbulent emotional growth, self-discovery and transformation. The last stage, where wiser people are still understanding towards the lack of distinctive characteristics in the human analogue of a flower bud; Where wiser people understand that this twenty something being they see isn’t yet complete. That the brush strokes on this canvas form indistinguishable shadows still but are slowly becoming more. We hope that one day we’ll wake up and realize that we’ve indeed become more.
But today, today we still don’t know what to do to get there. We might have plans of being excellent professionals while we also might fail to properly tie our shoes, succeed in tripping at any opportunity and forget one out of two assignments. We might dream of having that immaculate open floor plan apartment, an en-suite bathroom with those spa resembling showers and a bathtub, while today… Night time is spent in shared, thin-walled apartments where the kitchen sink has some suspicious looking stains, likewise that area where shower walls meet floor, and the bathroom has a never-ending supply of hair strands. We might contemplate sharing life with a loved one in the future, having a puppy or some cats and basking in the feeling of being seen, loved and appreciated by our partner. While today… Today, some of us wouldn’t even dare keep a plant alive, let alone a relationship?
So how to feel confident throughout the process of becoming a finalized piece? How to perceive if we’re walking the right path or if we’re just recklessly bulldozing our own way? Not that those are mutually exclusive, but how to discern? If in both scenarios most steps taken are veiled in uncertainty? It often happens that when I know where I want to go, I can’t seem to find the way to get there. And when I’m aware of the options, I can’t seem to decide where I want and/or should go. It’s all very disconcerting. As teens, we dream about the freedom of being an adult, we scream at our parents, emphasizing the need to make our own decisions without their supervision. Only to grow into the young adults that call their parents, hoping they’ll tell us exactly what to do.
When it dawns on you that your future is in your own hands,you question everything and anything, starting with what you think you know about yourself. E.g. If you’re a chocolate milkshake type of person, let’s say you decide to have a vanilla flavored one, for once. That break in character allows you to:
- Confirm that you are indeed a chocolate milkshake person.
- Discover the new love of your life: vanilla flavored milkshake or …
- Experience an epiphany moment, where the realization of endless possibilities of flavors and experiences are available to you.
So be free…
If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.
Lewis Carrol
So what if we don’t know what we’re doing? So what if plan A, B and C turned out to be dead ends? At the very least, now you know. Time for plan D! And even though this might sound like it was glazed in overexcitement, we must remember that we live in a time where everything has a shelf life of 30 seconds. Which, in all honesty, is more of a two-edged sword than what one might think. If you dwell on something for too long, you may get overwhelmed by the following events (seeing as the world keeps on moving), and if you don’t dwell on things long enough you may miss out on some cosmic wisdom. There’s no way of predicting what turns life will take and only through experience do we get some understanding over what might be too much and what is just enough… It’s useless to think about formulas, just like it is useless to over criticize oneself over past mistakes. The blessing of the twenty somethings is that it is never too late to turn a new leaf. To do and re-do. To discover and rediscover. To tune into yourself and mute everything else, to focus your energy on knowing who you are, your best qualities, your worst flaws, and your limitations. Focus on falling in love with yourself, with life and propagating those vibrations into the world.
Read, watch movies, go out with friends, eat good food, exercise, spend time with just your thoughts and nature. Nurture your soul, mind and body. And if after introspecting, you’re still unsure of where you want to go, being who you’re meant to be will happen while cultivating good habits. One day, the bud will blossom into a flower, the brushes will be abandoned in wake of those once indistinguishable shadows coming forth in full form. The presence of a full set of distinctive characters will be indisputable and a vacancy will be left for the newest generation of buds as we proceed into the role of being the wiser people, into being more. That day, we’ll wake up and realize that we’ve indeed become more.
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